MoneyCheck your access in Explorer
Boundaries = loss
You change the scope without changing the fee.
Open in Explorer← All Code lists28 Codes
People-Pleasing Codes
The rules that make another person's comfort feel like your responsibility
People-pleasing can be less about being nice than about what disagreement, disappointment or another person's discomfort appears to threaten.
Read the statements below to find a starting point. Some have an article you can read here; others open in Explorer, where you can test Codes from packs you own.
01
Approval and belonging
Codes that make acceptance depend on being easy, useful or agreeable.
MapRead the article
Love = loss of self
You enjoy closeness, then feel a sudden need to create distance.
Open CodeBoundariesCheck your access in Explorer
No = loss of love
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerFamilyRead the article
Sacrifice = love
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open CodebelongingCheck your access in Explorer
Wealth = loss of love
Downplaying or concealing financial progress from family
Open in ExplorerFamilyCheck your access in Explorer
Love = approval
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerMoneyCheck your access in Explorer
Discounts = love
Avoids direct financial decisions and stays in short-term safety behaviors.
Open in Explorer02
Saying no
Codes that turn a limit into selfishness, rejection or loss.
MoneyCheck your access in Explorer
Charging = greed
Underprices, delays asks, or overdelivers to secure safety through approval.
Open in Explorerself_investmentCheck your access in Explorer
Self-investment = selfish
Deferring personal development, equipment, or support indefinitely
Open in ExplorerMoneyCheck your access in Explorer
Boundaries = greed
You apologise while asking for the agreed payment.
Open in ExplorerReceiving MoneyCheck your access in Explorer
Receiving = selfish
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerFamily LoyaltyCheck your access in Explorer
Saying no = cruel
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerReceiving MoneyCheck your access in Explorer
Being taken care of = unsafe
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerManifestationCheck your access in Explorer
Desire = selfish
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in Explorer03
Preventing conflict
Codes that make another person's discomfort feel dangerous.
AngerCheck your access in Explorer
Anger = loss of love
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerLoveRead the article
Conflict = rejection
Avoids clear emotional asks and defaults to protective patterns over direct connection.
Open CodeconflictRead the article
Money = conflict
Avoiding price conversations and negotiation
Open CodeLoveCheck your access in Explorer
Vulnerability = danger
Avoids clear emotional asks and defaults to protective patterns over direct connection.
Open in ExplorerTraumaCheck your access in Explorer
Boundaries = danger
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerMoneyCheck your access in Explorer
Money = danger
You make a strong month sound smaller when somebody asks how business is going.
Open in ExplorerMoneyCheck your access in Explorer
Price = judgement
Underprices, delays asks, or overdelivers to secure safety through approval.
Open in Explorer04
Carrying other people
Codes that assign responsibility for needs and outcomes that are not entirely yours.
MoneyCheck your access in Explorer
Self-sacrifice = worth
You agree to the urgent request before checking what it will cost you.
Open in ExplorerreceivingRead the article
Receiving = burden
Declining offers of support, payment, or help
Open CodeOver-ResponsibilityCheck your access in Explorer
Help = burden
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerscarcityCheck your access in Explorer
Scarcity = responsible
Self-imposed income limits that have no financial basis
Open in ExplorerReceivingCheck your access in Explorer
Receiving = responsibility
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerAskingCheck your access in Explorer
Receiving help = loss of control
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
Open in ExplorerBoundariesCheck your access in Explorer
Responsibility = mine
Avoids situations that would test this pattern directly.
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